Eggs In Space

Hey y'all, been a while.  I know you were wondering: what took so long?  What food and science fiction combination were we waiting for without knowing it?

Answers: of course, I've been busy time traveling (forward, at one second per second).  I'm watching Lunopolis and chowing down on some tasty scotch eggs.  In this post-diluvian world, I was hoping to watch Escape from New York, to see the Kurt Russellian apocalypse I missed out on because of Obama's competence in the face of the deluge.  If only the government had collapsed into chaos and we had all gotten awesome ab tats!  But, alas! Snake Plissken isn't on instantview, so I'm settling for this oddball Scientology-time-travel hybrid.  My evaluation so far?  Primer is a better indie time travel movie.  Moon is a better lunar conspiracy theory movie.  Let's pretend I'm watching Escape from New York.

Today we're gonna make some scotch eggs, which, like Kurt Russell's bare chest, are oily but appealing. Maybe a bit too rich. Ingredients are simple:


five eggs
one fake sausage
2 tablespoons hot sauce
1 splash soymilk
1/4 cup seasoned bread crumbs (or bread crumbs with a teaspoon seasoned salt, half a teaspoon pepper, marjoram, cumin, paprika, thyme, and sage to taste).
1/4 cup flour
eight toothpicks
1 deep fryer with your choice of oil about 2" deep.

Boil four of the eggs for six minutes.  Use this time to beat the last of the eggs with the hot sauce and splash of soymilk if you're feelin' it.  Mix together the seasoned bread crumbs and flour and put 'em on a plate.

Slice the soysage lengthwise in thin strips:

Use toothpicks to affix the soysage strips to the egg, so that it's can't move; preheat the oil to 375.  Everything is now A-number-1.  You should now have a small, orbital space-station-looking thing:

Drop that baby in the oil like it's the president's escape hatch and Air Force One is going down:

Some of these babies are made with a batter I whipped up b/c I wasn't sure the flaky breading was taking.  If they look better to you, you can make the batter by adding 1/2 cup of corn starch to the bread crumb mix and 1/2 cup of water to the egg and then mixin' em together.  Fry until golden brown.

Final product (with some Nathan's Coney Island to celebrate the fact that, in both Hurricane Sandy and Escape From New York, Brooklyn avoids apocalypse):

WE MADE IT OUT! 

 (unfortunately, our digestive tract is unlikely to deliver on that pardon we were promised at the beginning of the film)

MMMM, egg inside.  Watch out--there's a chance that there'll be a sequel (maybe in ten years, maybe with terrible special effects).   Some sequels come half-baked; ideally, this one will be runny-yolked.

This is exactly what I hope every space station is like on the inside.  Take care, Sci Fryers.  Lemme know if you read anything interesting. (As a PS, I'm rereading Ubik by Dick right now, and first-time-reading The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury.  Both are great.  Ubik is everything I could hope for in a metaphysical thriller, where the nature of the existence of the characters is up for grabs and the suspense rests in their relationship to the external world; The Martian Chronicles is a nostalgic tale about the death of an old civilization and the insanity of settling a new planet).