Refried Refried Beans

Dearest Cyberwebbers,

Here's a thing prefaced by an update on my second-rate readings!

I just finished The Naked Sun by Isaac Asimov, wherein extraterrestrial germaphobes resist the advances of a genial gumshoe and his robot sidekick. It's half as good as a dark noir thriller a la Chandler or an Agathan murder mystery, with an underdeveloped sideline of dystopian robophobia. It has neither robohuman harmony nor technofear enough to keep a real sci-fan engaged, and the writing style is notably without embellishments. A decidedly lower-tier Isaac effort, well behind I Robot (which is way better than the movie) and the Foundation trilogy.

Afterward, I started The Fortress of Solitude, a hunk of mainstream fiction by one of my favorite sci-fi authors, Jonathan Lethem (check out Gun, With Occasional Music). Lethem's words soak through your retinas and encapsulate your brain in the fabric of the novel. It's way better.

\\\Abrupt subject change\\\

How was your Cinco de Mayo, bro? Here's a tasty thing for your burritos:



HOW TO MAKE REFRIED BEANS

Ingrede the following:

1 and 3/4 C Pinto Beans, soaked overnight (or one can, retain the water)
1.5 tsp cumin
1 tsp paprika
.5 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp hot sauce (The Best is El Yucateca)
1/4 tsp MSG
1 T honey (or Agave Nectar, real vegans)
1 T tomato paste
1/2 an onion, finely chopped
4 diced cloves of garlic
3 T canola oil

This is super easy. Heat the beans on the stove, either in the juice from the can or in a light covering of water. Add all the dry spices (from the Cumin to the Cayenne, +MSG). When they're warm (DON'T let those mothers boil), pull them off and put them in a mixing bowl. Now add the wet stuff (honey, hot sauce, tomato paste). Start mashing the crap out of them. Use a fork, a potato masher, or a specially designed bionic appendage.

Meanwhile, put the canola oil in a pan on the stove on medium heat. MASH! Drop in the onions and garlic. MASH! Watch until the onions and garlic are juicy and translucy. MASH! When the beans reach an even consistency, drop them into the oilonlic mix in the pan. Stir that sweet beany bunch until all the oil is absorbed or burns off or does whatever it does. This will take about 10 minutes, though you can pull it off and eat it whenever you get impossibly hungry.

This is a burrito!

What do I do with this? Well, normally I put it in a burrito with more hot sauce and black beans, plus some vegan better than sour cream, maybe veggies, and rice. Then I deep fry the burrito. This magically morphs it into a chimichanga! Oily goodness.


BAM! Tasty chimi!